Home

Advertisement

Customize
About this Journal
Current Month
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031
Jul. 20th, 2008 @ 10:09 pm drained
just came back from the trip to wales and there were a lot of learning points for me. learnt that i don't have as strong a grasp on my temper as i used to as i realise i was snapping at him alot during the trip. as stressful as it was taking 60+ teenagers to the heart of UK for 2 wks, i still think i needed to ocntrol myself better.
perhaps i'm being too judgemental but i was always taught that however disappointed one is, one should still celebrate the successes of others. that was another thing that bugged me alot as the kids refused to acknowledge the success of the other groups who did won the competition categories, instead they ignored any sounds of congratulations from others who were unplaced in the competition and cried prideful tears for not winning instead of congratulating their betters. Will def have to talk to them about sportsmanship even in the area of perf arts.
still drugged due to the meds and not looking forward to helming the LA prog when i get back. feelings of abandonment aside, i really do understand k's motivation for leaving everything. in fact, i find myself thinking along the same lines given how things are shaping up...

that masters prog is really looking appealing now. just have to wait out the bond.
About this Entry
stretched
May. 25th, 2008 @ 09:35 am isolated
the feeling is cut-off, numb.
i can sense the sectioning off parts of myself in order to cope.
the precedent was already there... ever since, i've locked myself in my room, preferring the solitude of my four walls to the company of family and friends.
now, yet more friends are leaving but because of the emotional disconnect i've created my response is lukewarm, lacklustre.
my friends won't know how much they mean to me because i wouldn't want to bother them with the details, the burden.
also cos i know that i'm not really a friend to them, more like a colleague or someone who makes things a bit smoother.
again, that's probably due to the emotional disconnect.
the heart and mind have been disassociated for quite a while now and the distance is only getting greater.
crawl inside myself
About this Entry
stretched
Nov. 30th, 2007 @ 08:43 pm annual post
sigh.. this really seems to be a habit

could all you dear darling friends of mine please send me your address, hp no.. etc??
pretty pretty please??
have lost my contacts book and my hp. *growls*

my address, hp no. and hm no are still the same
About this Entry
stretched
Dec. 3rd, 2006 @ 06:32 pm to sg frens coming back for x'mas n those still on the red dot
feels odd that i'm using this as an announcement board but to contact the folks who are coming back to sg from other parts of the world, i've got little choice.
wun be in the country til the 22nd of dec so we'll meet up when i get back, yes?
lost my bloody handphone so all of my contacts are gone *sob!* particularly overseas numbers and such. also, cos i'll be in rolling countryside, will be fairly out of signal reach.

take care (n behave)
About this Entry
stretched
Oct. 3rd, 2006 @ 09:30 pm !!!!!!!
"Without Albert Instein's perserverence, we would not be blessed with light."

*bangs head repeatedly*
About this Entry
stretched
Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 07:39 am (no subject)
my kids just sat for their exam today and seriously speaking, i am worried. not sure if they'll pass their papers. one of em even smsed me "confirm fail liao". wonderful. which bloody teacher wants to hear that from her students after she has spent so much time giving remedials and such in a bid to pull up their grades? den i have to ask myself if the fault lies with me cos i failed to teach them. in all the pedagogy that surrounds teaching nowadays, the onus of a successful student seems to fall on the teacher and not the student--that the teacher is not engaging them enough, not catering to their needs, not stimulating enough... shit! so it's the teacher's fault if the student doesn't show up for class and does not hand in the work??!! WTF! am really worried that my students' performance will reflect badly on me as well. sigh..

starting to get overwhelmed as well... just found out that i'll be shifting over to IP.. sounds like a hell of a bloody lot for next year.
1)form teachership--Helmsman & Imagineering
2)2 Lang Arts classes
3)Anchoring the Humanities-Lit curriculum for I1s
4)Research Module
5)might teach I2s lit
6)Choir CCA
About this Entry
stretched
Jun. 10th, 2006 @ 05:01 pm weird
came home today only to have mom nag me to make sure i keep the microwave door shut at all times, even when there's food 'resting' in there. cos she had left a plate of freshly cooked broccoli (sp?) in the microwave and left the door ajar, only to return later to find a lizard feasting on said veggies.. i thought lizards only ate bugs... 0.o

i admit that i have an affinity for lizards, and lizard-related stuff keep happening around me but this is just weird...
About this Entry
stretched
May. 7th, 2006 @ 11:18 pm the missing ten weeks of my life
Current Mood: relieved
Current Music: Eurythmics--"Here comes the rain again"
i promised a few that i will update this so that people will know that i'm alive and have not died a horrible death-by-red-pen...

the past ten weeks have been.. eventful.. to say the least. from the get go, the five other trainees and i were swamped with work. no. 1 felt that the prac programme proposed by nie was not rigorous enough to properly prepare us for the working world so he devised a different plan--more-than-recommended periods to teach, form teacher-ship, cca teacher-in-charge, sec 3 camp, speech day, nafa testing, sch hiking trip, taking the level for soccer finals... etc. my apologies for going mia on my friends and family but i really didn't have a say in the matter... just no time..

comparing english language and english literature, there's no surprise that i prefer teaching the latter. somehow, subordinate clauses and dummy/dos fail to grab my attention. i, like my students, fall asleep when having to conduct grammar classes. so it's no surprise that i end up using anything i can get my hands on to try to make the lesson more interesting, if only to ensure i dun fall asleep mid-sentence. so comics, songs, video clips from incredible tales were used.. now the school is considering purchasing some of the materials i used to add them to the english department's pile of resources. and my students expect to watch videos every single lesson.

a good portion of the term was getting my sec 2 students to draft and finalise their own scripts and then how to perform their own plays as their mid-year examination for literature. not in twenty years would i have ever thought of using red paper pellets as blood splatter! i like my lit lessons because of the school's focus on the performing arts.. thus drama is given a lot of emphasis, but they know sqwat about the other genres. sec1 students go for drama workshops instead of proper lit lessons. teaching poetry to sec 2s was frustrating in that i had little control over the poems taught because it's a standardized list..who in their right mind would teach lee tzu pheng's poems to students with no prior knowledge of poetic conventions? but thanks to my ct, i had free reign on how to teach students the poetic devices. most of them could comprehend the concepts and apply them when creating their own poems. it pleases me to think that i have 80 budding poets.

alot of thanks has to go to my two cts.. if they had followed no 1's orders, i would not have half as much freedom to do what i wanted with my classes.. they really let me run amok and for that i'm extremely grateful. compared to some of the other trainees together with me, i had it easy.. i shudder to think how i would have done if i had gotten some of the cts attached to the other trainees.. the controlling personalities, the frowning faces, the sharp clipped tones.. memories of my life in jc, my relationship with my gp tutor and the three formla letters of apology that i had to write immediately surface.. *eeeks*

would i go back? i don't noe.. it's beyond my control. do i want to go back? not sure.. i like the staffroom culture... i find the students endearing.. i like the drama programme... BUT i know that the sch does not have o level lit and does not plan on offering the subject to students. that majorly sucks since i can't focus on what i love and am trained for, and also indicates that i'd end up teaching more grammar.. *gags*
About this Entry
stretched
Feb. 1st, 2006 @ 10:03 pm sniff
once again, i am amazed at the stamina my nose has... i've gone thru one box of kleenex and even hijacked the toilet roll from nie... damn thing's as leaky as my floor!
About this Entry
stretched
Jan. 27th, 2006 @ 12:55 am (no subject)
met up with jc gang for dinner just now and there were a lot of laughs, food and coffee...

good enough for reader's digest:

(an actual phone conversation)
*telephone rings*
san: hello?
jess: eh san, ask you ah... what's your phone number?

***********************************************************

(conversation on train as overheard by dear saufi)
bimbo1: last night, my chest was really really painful.
bimbo2: aiyoh, you poor thing.
bimbo1: yah, it hurt so much, i thought i was going to die.
bimbo2: aiyoh poor thing... so did you die?

***********************************************************

(an actual phone conversation)
saufi: Hi, i'd like to book a date for my basic theory test.
driving center lady: Oh, yo'll have to wait for quite a while because the nearest possible date is a few weeks from now. But i believe the one at bukit batok has earlier possible dates for you to do your test.
saufi: Oh, but erm... i don't know how to to get there.
driving center lady: that's alright, i can give you directions. do you drive?

***********************************************************
About this Entry
stretched
Jan. 25th, 2006 @ 09:44 pm yeah right...

Seductress Administering Naughty Delights and Hot, Yummy Affection
About this Entry
stretched
Jan. 11th, 2006 @ 07:19 pm an anomoly
Current Mood: amused
i have a leaky floor... don't ask me how it happened cos i have no clue.. all of a sudden, the floor is wet and water is seeping through the tiles. all of this would be perfectly commonplace if i was living anywhere near the ground but i don't. i live on the 11th floor. water could not have trickled down to collect in a pool on the floor cos there are no water marks or trails anywhere. and the neighbour living just below my place doesn't have a leaky ceiling. unless the laws of gravity have somehow been inverted and water from a busted pipe in the space between our apartments is actually dripping up.
About this Entry
stretched
Jan. 1st, 2006 @ 01:04 pm God
give me strength and courage to do my very best in all that i do.
grant me peace of mind to keep the demons in my head at bay.
About this Entry
stretched
Dec. 13th, 2005 @ 11:35 am santa baby
Current Mood: amused
Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Monday I put money in [info]dawnraven's expired parking meter (14 points). In July I stole [info]jzlyn's purse (-30 points). Last Tuesday I helped [info]iliep across the street (6 points). Last Wednesday I donated bone marrow to [info]joint_pains in a life-saving procedure (300 points). In June I got in line at the supermarket at the same time as someone else and I didn't yield (-8 points).

Overall, I've been nice (282 points). For Christmas I deserve a red Radio-Flyer wagon!

Sincerely,
freakinlizard

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:
About this Entry
stretched
Nov. 20th, 2005 @ 01:59 am .
HASH(0x8c44d0c)
Your beauty lies in your loneliness.


So graceful, yet, alone. You can't seem to find
anyone out there like you. It seems as if
you're doomed to not find anyone to give you
the company you desereve. You'll find a friend
who understands someday you'll not be alone
forever.


Your motive:

A friend.


Your quote:

You'll never understand how alone a person can
get. How do I know? I'm already there...


Your colors:

Deep purple and blue.


Your song:

Oh, Sweet Promise by The Bleeding Alarm

"Oh sweet promise to the day I met you
An unguarded heart and I've hurt you."


Please rate and message.


Where do You Find Your Beauty? (Gorgeous Pictures and Touching Results)
brought to you by Quizilla

About this Entry
stretched
Oct. 28th, 2005 @ 01:17 pm i love this crazy bunch...
Current Mood: mischievous

had lunch with the lit folks and laughed myself silly... below is a test they carried out on me... get a pen and paper and scribble down ur answers as u read...

  1. It's noon and you're hungry. You pass by a garden with bushes full of ripe berries. No one's in sight but there's a fence that separates you from the berries. How high is the fence?
  2. You've climbed over the fence and proceeded to pluck the ripe fruits. How many berries do you pluck?
  3. As you're eating berries, the gardener comes storming out, yelling at you for trespassing and for stealing his property. What is your defence?
  4. Now that everything is over, how do you feel about the whole berry incident?

scribbled down ur responses already?

post them here if you want an analysis =)

About this Entry
stretched
Oct. 26th, 2005 @ 10:40 pm i can't wait for hols
Current Mood: working

used this to describe my state of mind to [info]jzlyn .

I see the end in sight.. there's a boat in the horizon, i'm treading water but still gulping mouthfuls of ocean

About this Entry
stretched
Oct. 25th, 2005 @ 05:23 pm what my name means
Current Mood: hmmm

nicked from

[info]glazzal... at this site.</span>

 

Your number is: 9

The characteristics of #9 are: Humanitarian, giving nature, selflessness, obligations, creative expression.

The expression or destiny for #9:
The expression that you exhibit is represented bythe number 9. Your talents center in humanistic interests and approaches. You like to help others as you were intended to be the 'big brother or big sister' type. You operate best when you follow your feelings and sense of compassion, and allow yourself to be sensitive to the needs of others. You work well with people, and have the potential to inspire. This suggests that you could successfully teach or counsel. Creative ability, imagination and artistic talent (often latent) of the highest order are present in this expression. It's possible that you're not using or developing all of these capabilities at this time. Some of your talents may have been used at an earlier time in your life, and some may still be latent. Be aware of your capabilities, so that you can make use of them at appropriate times.

If you are able to achieve the potential of your natural expression in this life, you are capable of much human understanding and have a lot to give to others. Your personal ambitions are likely to be maintained in a very positive perspective, never losing sight of an interest in people, and a sympathetic, tolerant, broad-minded and compassionate point of view. You are quite idealistic, and disappointed at the lack of perfection in the world. You have a strong awareness of your own feeling as well as those of others. Friendships, affection, and love are extremely important.

Undeveloped or ignored, the negative side of the 9 expression can be very selfish and self-centered. If you do not actively involve yourself with work that benefits others, you may tend to express just the opposite characteristics. It is your role to be very involved with other people and their needs, but it may be difficult for you achieve this role. Aloofness, lack of involvement, and a lack of sensitivity mark the low road of this expression.

Your Soul Urge number is: 8

A Soul Urge number of 8 means:
With an 8 soul urge, you have a natural flare for big business and the challenges imposed by the commercial world. Power, status and success are very important to you. You have strong urges to supervise, organize and lead. Material desires are also very pronounced. You have good executive abilities, and with these, confidence, energy and ambition.

Your mind is analytical and judgment sound; you're a good judge of material values and also human character. Self-controlled, you rarely let emotions cloud judgment. You are somewhat of an organizer at heart, and you like to keep those beneath you organized and on a proper track. This is a personality that wants to lead, not follow. You want to be known for your planning ability and solid judgment.

The negative aspects of the 8 soul urge are the often dominating and exacting attitude. You may have a tendency to be very rigid, sometimes stubborn.

Your Inner Dream number is: 11

An Inner Dream number of 11 means:
You dream of casting the light of illumination; of being the true idealist. You secretly believe there is more to life than we can know or prove, and you would like to be provider of the 'word' from on high.

About this Entry
stretched
Oct. 20th, 2005 @ 11:35 pm (no subject)
just had a chat with jo n jess.. felt good to talk and joke and make all kinds of nonsensical comment sjust cos we could.. haven't done tt for a while.. looking forward to the trip..
About this Entry
stretched
Aug. 1st, 2005 @ 10:59 pm quiz

 

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.
 
About this Entry
stretched